FeelgBeautiful
Asachild，IfeltIwasanuglyducklg.Youknow，thekidnoonewouldpywith.Whowasnsideredodd.Tooskny.Didnothgathletic.MyfewfriendsandInstitutedtheoutcastsatygradeschool.
Later，asIbegantodevelopafigureandasile，IstillneveruldshakethefeelgthatIwassubstandard.Whentheprettiergirlgottheguy，Ifiguredthatwasonlyfair—shedeservedtobehappy.Ididn’t.
Whenaguydidgivesoattention，Ifiguredhewasdogafavor，soIreciprocatedobsessivelyuntilhegottiredof.EvenwhenIlookedtheirrorandsawsothgpleasantlookgbackat，Ifigureditwasafke.
Yearspassed，andIwentthroughsobadretionships，up-and-dowloss，extreself-hatred.ThentherecaatiwhenIwaslivgLosAhendof“everyonelooksperfect”.Inyownntrariantway，Idecidedtodifferentiateyself.
Ispedlyhairaallthegrayshow.Ispedweargakeup.IspedweargclothesthatIthoughtwouldakelookattractiveton.Foraboutthreeyears，IstrippedawayallthedisguisesI’dbeengandtriedtoshowonlyyself.
AndIdisveredsothg.Iabeautiful.
WhenIuldn’trelyoernalstounicateybeauty，Ihadtoturntoternals.Ithkofternalsasspiritualqualities.Thesequalitiesarelkedtoqualitiessuchaslove，patience，carg，listeng，fun-lovg，joy，creativity，peace.Scethesearespiritualqualities，eaeofhasaesstothewhereverandwhoeverweare.
Andwhatwasfuntorealizeisthatnoonehasanyoreorlessofthesequalities.Ihadbeenthkgofyselfasnothavgenoughbeauty，asbegdeprivedsohow.ButwhenIbegantoexpressthosespiritualqualities，beautybereativity.
Iuldseethenthatwaboutyappearandhowitratedparedtothatofotherswasaforofself-obsession.Expressgspiritualqualitieswasselfless，becaeit’saboutexpressgSoul.
IknewIrogresswhenoneday，whileIwasreadgaparkoverlookgtheo，aanapproachedandjtappreciatedhoeadprettyIlooked.Ireallyfeltlikeoneofthe“beautifulpeople”yownway.
Thesedays，relocatedtoNewEngnd，I’backtyhairandweargakeup.Butthat’snotwhatakesfeelbeautiful.Thesileonsooneelse’sfaceshgbackatgivestheglowofbeauty，andIfeelblessed.
Youarebeautiful，too.Soareallthepeoplearoundyou.Whenyouseespiritually，theworldbeesapceofbeauty.
儿时，我总觉得自己是只丑小鸭。其他小孩都不喜欢和我玩，他们觉得我性格怪僻，瘦骨嶙峋，又不爱运动。我和仅有的几个朋友都是被遗弃的对象。
后来，当我越长越漂亮后，便时常笑容满面，但仍摆脱不了自卑的阴影。我认为，一个稍微有些标致的女孩有男朋友是很自然的事——她应该享受幸福。而这种幸福并不属于我。
每每有男生注意我时，我总觉得他是出于对我的同情，因此对他敷衍搪塞，直到他讨厌我为止。即使在照镜子时发现自己长得还可以，我也会把这当做纯粹的偶然。
之后的数年，我几经感情的失败，反复地减肥，甚至极端仇视自己。接着，我开始在洛杉矶生活，这是一个“人人完美”的地方。逆向思维驱动着我下决心改变自己。
我不再染发，让灰白头发全露出来。也不再化妆，不穿吸引男性目光的衣服。三年中，我蜕掉了所有的伪饰，尽力展现真我。
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