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第15章 童年 (1)(1 / 1)

Childhood

列夫·托尔斯泰/LeoTolstoy

Happy,happy,never-returngtiofchildhood!Howwehelplovganddwellguponitsrelles?Theycheerandelevatethesoul,aoonesourceofhigherjoys.

Sotis,whendreagofbygonedays,fancythat,tiredoutwithrunngabout,Ihavesatdownyhighar-chairbythetea-table.Itiste,andIhavelongscedrunkycupofilk.MyeyesareheavywithsleepasIsitthereandlisten.HowuldInotlistehatMaaisspeakgtosobody,andthatthesoundofhervoiceissolodioandkd?Howuchitsechoesrecalltoyheart!WithyeyesveiledwithdrowsessIgazeatherwistfully.Suddenlysheseestogrowsallerandsaller,andherfacevaoapot;yetIstillseeit—stillseeherasshelooksatandsiles.Sohowitpleasestoseehergrownsosall.Iblkandblk,yetshelookshanaboyref?lectedthepupilofahenIroeyself,andthepicturefades.OnceoreIhalf-closeyeyes,andcastabouttotryandrecallthedrea,butithasgone,Irisetoyfeet,onlytofallbackfortablytothearchair.

“There!Youarefallgasleepaga,littleNis,”saysMaa.“Youhadbettergotoby-by.”

“No,Iwon’tgotosleep,Maa,”Ireply,thoughalostaudibly,forpleasantdreasaref?illgallysoul.Thesoundsleepofchildhoodisweighgyeyelidsdown,andforafewonts.Isktosberandoblivionuntilawakenedbysoone.Ifeelysleepasthoughasofthandwerecaressg.Iknowitbythetouch,and,thoughstilldreag,Iseizeholdofitandpressittoylips.Everyoneelsehasgoobed,andonlyonedlereasburngthedrag-roo.Maahassaidthatsheherselfwillwake.ShesitsdownonthearofthechairwhichIaasleep,withhersofthandstrokgyhair,andIhearherbeloved,well-knownvoicesayyear:“Getup,ydarlg.Itistitogoby-by.”

Noenviogazeseeshernow.Sheisnotafraidtosheduponthewholeofhertendernessandlove.Idonotwakeup,yetIkissandkissherhand.

“Getup,then,yangel.”

Shepassesherotherarroundyneck,andherf?gerstickleastheyoveacrossit.Therooisquietandhalf-darkness,buttheticklghastouchedynervesandIbegtoawake.Maaissittgnear—thatItell—andtouchg;Ihearhervoidfeelherpresehisatstroestup,tothrowyarsaroundherneck,tohideyheadherboso,andtosaywithasigh:

“Ah,dear,darlgMaa,howuchIloveyou!”

Shesileshersad,entgsile,takesyheadbeeenherohands,kissesontheforehead,andliftsontoherp.

“Doyoulovesouch,then?”shesays.Then,afterafewonts’silence,shentues:“Andyoutlovealways,andneverfet.IfyourMaashouldnolongerbehere,willyouproiseofether—never,Nilka?”andshekissesorefondlythanever.

“Oh,butyoutnotspeakso,darlgMaa,yowndarlgMaa!”IexciasIcspherknees,andtearsofjoyandlovefallfroyeyes.

How,afterseslikethis!Iwouldgoupstairs,andstandbeforethes,andsaywitharapturofeelg,“GodblessPapaandMaa!”aaprayerforybelovedotherwhichychildishlipshadlearnttolisp—theloveofGodandotherblendgstrangelyasgleeotion!

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